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Here Comes Uncle Lard

by timlane

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1.
Here comes Mr Weird A purple ribbon in his beard In his hand a bucket full of bones He’s walking down the street Laughing gamely at his feet And talking to a lightbulb on the phone Trailing memories behind He’s got dinner on his mind Here comes Lady Strange In her Sunday paper plane A golden turbot painted on each wing She’s whistling a tune As she waves her silver spoon She always has enjoyed this sort of thing As she spins around the sky No-one can see her passing by CHORUS Send for the nice young man who brings the cheese Let his name be Morris or maybe Rhys If he’s a priest Here comes Uncle Lard You can see he’s working hard By the trail of dead squirrels everywhere As he comes round the bend His arms and legs start to extend With a mighty leap he springs into the air It’s been four and twenty years Since we last saw him round here CHORUS And meanwhile back in the waking world Your powers grow weak old man Dreams decay and wither away While the nightmares hog all the sunbeds Getting tanned CHORUS
2.
Baby! I need a sign, So I know what’s yours And what used to be mine We used to have cake All the cake you could bake But now I’m awake It all seems to take so much time So move along down the line And all the backroom boffins In their nice white shirts Shout Once round Grandma Twice round the gasworks Honey! I need some relief If I’m going to get to the side At least that’s my belief Because yet again A thing most profane Has been in my brain And it’s left a big stain on the sheets I think it called itself Keith And all the backroom boffins In their nice white shirts Shout Once round Grandma Twice round the gasworks A host of fat lizards in jackets and slacks Carrying baskets of eggs on their backs Just stopped by Drooling and diving and speaking in tongues They tell me they simply just had to come And say Hi! Sugar! Throw me a bone I’d rather not spend another Ten years on the phone I don’t wanna get tough But I’m calling your bluff Cos I can’t get enough Of this green sticky stuff on my own Unless it’s homegrown And all the backroom boffins In their nice white shirts Shout Once round Grandma Once round Grandma Once round Grandma Twice round the gasworks
3.
4.
Darkside Derek and the Bakelite Kid Oozed into town on a bombazine squid Searching for someone or some kind of thing To bring them the head of the spiral bound king Of the West That was their quest But when they found him eating a pie With a gold stripe dwarf and a delivery guy The king of the West Wasn’t looking his best Next stop was the Land of of the spoons Where they dance in squares by the light of the moon Derek said to the Kid “This is the scene: We find the bones of the homecoming Queen Of the South And then we get out” But when they found her hanging around Down on the prom with Capability Brown She was on the Merry-go-round Saying “that’s just the way that the deal goes down The Queen of the South Was messing about Darkside Derek and the Bakelite Kid Went to the house where Lard People live Hoping to somehow persuade or convince His most royal highness the ten by eight Prince Of the East To come to the feast But when they found him out on the swing Doing that weird little doubling thing He said one day i’m gonna be king And here’s the song we’re all gonna sing La La La etc The Prince of the East Is covered in yeast

about

I’ve always loved a bit of psychedelic pop and rock, from the mad sixties singles like Tomorrow’s “My White Bicycle” and Traffic’s “Hole In My Shoe” and the Revolver and Sgt Pepper era Beatles to the work of people like Kevin Ayers, Syd Barrett and later Robyn Hitchcock I enjoy the combination of sonic experimentation, pop sensibility and nonsense.This EP, as well as the previous “The Fisheye Boys”, is me exploring those influences. Enjoy!

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released February 9, 2019

Composed, performed and produced by Tim Lane

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timlane Norwich, UK

Welcome to the musical world of Tim Lane. I'm a musician and composer who lives in Norwich in the UK.
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